As written in my journal in the city Cathedral whilst in Bologna on 1st April 2011. 13.00.
If you don’t believe and don’t want to read my letter to God, then don’t read it. But if you don’t have something to believe in, what’s life all about?
A Letter to God
Today Oh Lord, I relish in your peace. I know you are not to be found in a building, in a cathedral, temple or church. But in the hearts of man. Indeed those hearts that would search you out and receive you. And yet as I leave behind the warmth and luxury of my hotel room, to but sit on this hard wooden bench. To place my feet on the cold tiled floor, it is here that I feel the majesty of your presence. And now I sound contradictory for you are here in this very building. But in my heart Oh Lord! And is it thus, that the prayers of so many thousands of your Saints have risen in this place before – that it has created an open heaven above this spire? Indeed, those many prayers gone before have surely pierced the Heavenly Realm.
Oh Dear God. The peace in this place is awesome. Though the people quietly come and go, barely a sound. The squeak of a man’s sneakers, the tap of the stiletto – though she tries to walk softly – the sound of the old woman shuffling in her seat. The great oak door behind me creaks, as someone leaves and another enters this sacred place. Then the door ajar and I temporarily hear the world outside – the hustle and bustle of those passing by. The traffic at its busiest, a child’s cry and then, once again nothing but the stillness as the door to that world closes.
Yes Oh God. Is that but when you would speak to us in your still small voice? Is this to be today my secret place where I would meet with you? Or, would you speak as I leave and walk once again in the sunshine, in this outstandingly beautiful city? No! Then perhaps, as I return to my room to turn on the television and listen to the International News. Then no doubt, I would weep. Then, I would feel your heart beat Oh God. Then, would I hear your voice, as You weep for this broken, broken world. You never intended it to be like this!
What hope is there for mankind without you? How did man go so desperately wrong? But you gave us free will. And as your heart cries out, as your heart bleeds to our choices, I know you love us. Oh God! Your word tells us. Your ways are not our ways, that they are higher, and that we will never understand.
Never Lord? Will we not finally understand when we meet with you? When our time here is done? When we step into that mansion that you have prepared for us, in that oh so heavenly place.
Or will we then not care, and not need answers to ALL those questions. For to be with you, will be enough. Oh Lord Jesus. My prayer today is this….
Show me what difference, though be it small that, I could make in this world today. And my desire is that you would say when I enter those golden gates. ‘Here comes Anna, one of my faithful servants. Oh she made mistakes for sure. Sometimes she rebelled and other times hastily took the wrong way. But she loved me with all her heart and, I judge a person not by works or deeds but by the issues of the heart.
And I will ask you, Oh God.
Did I make the difference in the life of a child?
And you will show me the work that I had done and realized not. And I will be in awe!